The New Kind of Californian Snot
by xxAwesomeSauce69xx
Summary: Helga's not-really-related Californian Cousin, will do anything to get Arnold and Helga together so her worthiness can be proven and no longer be, "The Californian Snot"
1. The not-really-related Cousin

**Im new to so I beg you not to judge me for what Im writing or not being the best writer out there. But anyway, In this im somehow related to Helga, now I know many people have done this but I want my own version. but Imagine be with a black hoodie, gray beanie (sometimes) a white shirt you can see the collar of, long dark brown hair, round nose, greenish-brownish eyes, and bangs that drift to the left (they cover a portion of my eyes) and a voice that is preety deep, but not too deep (yes I have a deep voice) along with converse (black and white ones)**

**Hey Arnold belongs to Craig Bartlett, I only own myself.**

_Chapter 1: The not-really-related Cousin_

It was a gloomy morning in Hillwood, Helga, of course, just woke up and did her regular routine. On the way down stairs, a knock on the door booming so loud, it woke a sleeping Miriam on the counter, who quickly went back to sleep. The door was being spammed with countless knocks as helga was slowly making her way down the stairs, she heard Bob shout,

"Olga! Open the door for crying out loud!"

"Its Helga DAD!" Helga growled.

she opened the door to only see the cousin she never met that was staying.

"Hi, your name is?" she asked

"Nunya Buissness, bucko, now go trow yourself somewhere where I dont have to see you like the dumpster" She Scowled, the cousin simply laughed.

"ha, your funny you know that! anyway, they call Me Puppy, I know im to old but Im gunna be in your class, since the middle school, P.S.115 dosen't have enough room for me, they put me in your class." Puppy responded in more of a happy tone.

Miriam came by with a smoothie and said in a lazy tone "oh, you must be, um, whats your name?"

"I dont like my real name, people call me Puppy" she responded,

"oh okay, well have fun" she said lamely and wadled in the living room.

**_~Later in School~_**

Helga took her seat knowing what the first thing was going to say. The class was a riot and the bell rang loudly but they hardly heard it, they stopped when they heard friendly voice over them.

"Alright, now class, settle down, settle down, whe have a verry 'special' student comming in for a month, her name is, uh, whats your name" he turned to her with a smile.

"Just call me Puppy" she said,

"more like poopy" Helga mumbled to herself and earned some laughs from those around her.

lost the smile and continued,

"well, Puppy, can you tell us more about yourself?"

"Well, I am not everyone's favorite person back In California-" she was interrupted by Harold's loud shout,

"She's a Californian snot! AHAHAHAA!"

"Wilickers, I didnt expect a Californian to ever wonder the streets of Hillwood, did you Sid?"

"Well Stinky, I never expected one either, but she's gunna get torn up since Helga dosen't like new students" he responded,

"I don't know about that, she comes from a place were the stars are at, in Los Angeles! Boy who would'nt want to live there!" Exclaimed Eugene.

"I dont live In Los Angeles, Im from- HEY!" interupted by a paper airplane throne by Helga

"Gotcha stupid Californian cousin!" Helga said making her peers laugh.

"Your Cousins? Why, thats ever so exciting!" Lila squealed

"can it red-head" Puppy hissed, Lila did as she said, Helga on the other hand wasn't impressed,

"Helga, why cant you be nicer to your cousin?" Arnold continued, "she might not be that bad"

"are you kidding Arnoldo? I can't get along with anyone in my family, because like everyone else in here, they're a bunch of lame-brains and saps!" she snapped.

"well you never know Helga." he responded and he looked at the board again,

"Is that REALLY how you poor hopeless Californians dress? UGH im discusted!" Rhonda stated and shunned

Puppy just went to her desk, and slumped in her seat that was in front of Brainy as he wheezed loudly, as Puppy's vacation was slowly becoming a nightmare.

_**~Lunch/Recess~**_

Puppy was just sitting on a bench outside watching the girls in a circle who were clearly making a plan of some sort,

"Well, how are we gunna get rid of Puppy?" asked Helga,

"Tell her she dresses like a hobo" Rhonda said,

"Tell to give her an F on our next test?" added Pheobe,

"Or throw buggs on her!" Nadine said,

"We could just do the same thing we did to Lila" Helga suggested,

everyone nodded their heads in agreement,

"Tommorow, same plan" Helga said before seperating from the girls.

**This is my first FanFiction so dont judge. and later it will be explained on how My character is related to Helga, Next chapter will be up soon, and enjoy the rest of your day!**


	2. Puppy Finds Out

**Alright, hello again, Its just me. But in this chapter it reveals my parents abuse me, which they dont, since im the "Helga" in my house, always shadowed by my Brother, and I just wanted to tell you that because I dont want you guys to think my parents actually hate me. but this reveals alot about my personal life, and I also find out about some things, and tell me about grammar/spelling errors, so enjoy!**

**I own Nothing, but myself**

_Chapter 2: Puppy Finds Out_

Puppy, like back in California, never talked to anyone because she didnt want to screw it up like at her school. She grabbed her lunch, she had some pudding, chocolate milk, and mashed potatoes. As she was heading to the farthest table from everyone, Helga dashed by and stoped her.

"Oh you dont need to sit there cuz! I reserved a seat for you overthere!" Helga told her and pushed her over to the table and took off the reserved sighn.

"uh, okay, thanks Helga" Puppy said in a boring tone. She placed her tray on the table and right when she opened her chocolate milk, a small portion of the table went down spilling on her black hoodie as she cursed to the milk carton, she slid back and the sting on the bucket was pulled, a green smelly substance fell on her.

The entire cafeteria saw this and bursted into laughter,

"Like a BOSS!" Puppy yelled happilly, acting like it wasen't a big deal, when really, deep down, she just wanted to cry so the world can hear it. But she fake laughed at her self and finaly, when she couldnt take it she said, "alright, alright, let me go clean this crap off" she left the loud cafeteria, and when the door clossed behind her, she just ran to the bathroom and hid in the big stall crying so no one could hear,

**_~Cafeteria~_**

"Why did she take it so well?" questioned Rhonda,

"I dont know, but when I get home, Im messing up her Xbox, she loves it more than Bob and FootBall" Helga stated,

"You know how much the Xbox 360 costs Helga?" Pheobe said,

"Let me guess, two bucks, its no big deal," she said,

"alot of money, Helga, they are really fun from what I hear," she said

"Well, we could sell it so I can get some new clothes!" Rhonda said,

"Save that for later Princess," Helga said.

_**~On the way to Helga's House~**_

"So, Puppy, I heard you had an Xbox that Bob put in the basement for yah," Helga started,

Puppy didn't smell like garbage anymore, she didn't really have a scent to her at all really.

"Yes why?" Puppy questioned.

"What games do you have?" Helga asked, she could already smell the scent of money under her nose.

"I have more games at home, but all I have with me is Call of Duty Black Ops 1, and Call of Duty Black Ops II" Puppy responded pridefully,

"what the heck are those?" Helga wondered,

"Two games, they're pretty expensive though, atleast like fifty dollars," she said,

"well, he he, can I try it out?" Helga said with a suspicious girn smothered on her face,

"nah, they're to violent for a 9 year old, but long as if you can handle it!" she continued, "I got two controllers, we can play long as if you don't tell Uncle Bob" she said,

"alrighty then" Helga said, Helga, was really going to try to mess it up so Puppy's vacation will fall on its face.

_**~Helga's House~**_

"Dad, can I play xbox wi-" Helga was then cut off by Bob,

"You Kiddin' Olga? Your only 6! You can play when your 9" Bob said,

"But, Uncle Bob, she's-" Puppy was also cut off,

"Alright your Mother said I wouldn't be expecting any complaints from you!" He continued, "and when you complain, your mom told me to hit you with a belt or whatever I can find! Now go to the living room, I gotta go get a belt, and keep an eye on her Miriam!"

"uh, oh, o-okay, then" Miriam said before going to sleep on the couch,

"Man, I get abused here to? how much worse can this get?" Puppy said to herself,

"Wait, you get abused at ho-" Helga was cut off by Bob going down the stairs. He reached to the living room and saw Puppy in complete fright, and he said "Hold still, your gunna learn your leasson about complaining!"

Helga ran upstairs, trying to avoid the screams for help that Puppy was sending off. Helga finally knew why she hardly talks at school, or when people ask what its like in California. Her life could be worse than Helga's, but when the howls of pain had ended Bob finally said "Now go to the basement and Play your stupid Call of Duty things!" He yelled.

Puppy was holding on to her rear because of how hard the belt hit it, and was limping because of the pain he also caused in her leg with the belt. Helga went down to the basement and was behind her where she couldn't see her, Helga watched Puppy play the map "Burried" on Black Ops II and she was a srange, but smart nerd guy named Marlton which reminded her of Curly for some reason, she was on atleast round 23 now, and a notification popped up, and she had a conversation with a friend of her's, she picked up her Turtle Beach headsets and begun a conversation,

"Hey Puppy, whats Hillwood like?" Helga heard the boy ask, he sounded like he was Puppy's age, but maybe a bit younger,

"Its Horrible over here, Joe, get abused here too, today I got crap spilled on me, my cousin, and everyone else hates my guts just because Im from California, saying that Californians are dumb snots, sometimes, I just want this horrid joke of life to be over!" she exclaimed,

"What did you do when you got crap on you?" he asked, clearly wanting every detail,

"Well I played it off and tried not to cry in front of everyone in the cafeteria," she responded,

"Did you cry at all?" he asked,

"yeah, when I went to clean it off, but I just want to go home, so I dont HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BULL CRAP!" she yelled,

"Well, go talk to your cousin, she might under stand an-"

"She wont, I know she wont, shes just gunna make fun of me, I have to share a room with her!" she said,

as soon as she said that, the sceen displayed "Game Over You Survived 26 Rounds" she turned off the console and heard Helga ask, "whats your highest number ever on that?"

"AAAH!" Puppy jumped, "how long have you been there?" she asked,

"Thats for me to know, and for you not to find out" she said, completely forgetting what she asked, she looked back up at Puppy and noticed the frown on her face, "Uh, you okay?" she asked,

"no," she said,

"well why?" she asked,

"I can't talk about it,"

"why?"

"I-I just CAN'T! Okay!" she continued, "Can we just go to sleep now?"

They reached Helga's Room and changed into there Pajamas, Helga's was the same pink ones, Puppy's was a red one peice, with a small fox on the top right. She went to get her sleeping bag from Helga's closet, and when she grabbed it, she saw a shrine, of the boy in her class with the football head, and the tuffs of hair.

"uh, Helga, what is this?" she asked,

"What is wha-" Helga froze as she saw Puppy by the closet door, in shock.

"Helga, why do you have a statue of the kid you say you hate?"

"be-because, I just do, now get out of there!" she roared,

Puppy saw one of the pink books and picked it up, and read it aloud,

" "Oh Arnold, my"- nah too mushy, I thought you hated him!" she said,

"I do! its, just that I-"

"That you love him?" she said with a smirk, knowing she cant get out of this,

"n-no"

"It has your name in it Pataki, so dont lie to me!" she continued, "Helga, if you don't tell me the truth, he he, well, I guess I _could_ just go around telling people, or you can tell me, and Ill keep my mouth shut." she offered,

"You can't do that!" she said,

"oh yes I can! HEY EVERYBODY HELGA LO-" Helga's hand covered her mouth,

"shh! People hear you yah know!" she said,

"alright, if it makes you happy, Ill tell you who I like,_you dont know him_, if you tell me the truth,"

"you first,"

"I like Jason, the _nicest, most sweetest, optomistic, kind boy with his weird dark brown hair, and his light brown eyes and hi_-"

"alright enough of your soft side Puppy!"

"Now tell me, do you like that kid named Arnold?"

"I don't like him, I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM!" she exclaimed, she went on about how great and kind he was, for atleast another minute,

"alright, we should go to sleep,"

"No no no, Puppy, your not sleeping in MY room!" she said,

"why? I did last night"

"well, just because we actually talked, and bonded, dosen't mean I still cant hate you!"

"alright Helga, what ever floats you boat," she said with a smirk and walked out,

she reached the couch and pulled out a light blue journal, writing about her love for Jason, and, like Helga, she had a locket, but it was a little shineyer, and went to sleep with them on top of her.

**Thats the end of this Chapter! But Im bot obsessive over the guy I like, I don't have a journal about him, since its kinda weird, so I hope you enjoyed this, next part should be up sooner or later!**


	3. Help From a Real Life Idiot

**DISCLAIMER: I own only Puppy, since she is me! everyone else Is the creation of the amazing Craig Bartlett**

_Chapter 3: Help From a Real Life Idiot_

"Wake up kid, you got school!" Bob yelled in Puppy's ear,

"Alright uncle Bob, yeesh, don't need to yell," she said,

"I bet Helga's rubbing off the attitude on yah, and, hwy whats that yah got there?" he questioned,

Puppy noticed what he was talking about and quickly shoved them in her pajama's pocket,

"Oh, ehm, un, nothing! Uncle Bob" she said pulling on the collar of her shirt,

"Well go wake up the girl for me will yah?" he said, without a word, she got up and remebered what Helga had told her the night before, every word of it, and she said in her thoughts _'Maybe, just maybe she'll let me help her out with that, and then, maybe she won't hate me! Im a geneous!'_

**_~Five Minutes Later~_**

"Your an idiot!" Helga said,

"But, c'mon Helga! I can help out! and maybe eve-"

"No, Helga G Pataki needs help from nobody! Especially from someone like you, Bucko!"

"But-"

"No no no! you heard me clearly,"

"But come on! how long have you liked this kid?"

"Six years, why?"

"well, I can make your waiting to get him shorter!"

"I can NOT accept,"

"How much you want Helga?"

"hmm, lets say, twenty,"

Puppy ran to her suit case and rummaged through it, and found a crumpled twenty dollar bill laying around in it, she ran back to Helga's bed and held it out to her, as Helga inspected the bill, and they shook on it.

"So I can Help?" Puppy asked in a squeal, she thought in her head _'Im glad I never told her about how im doing this for her happiness, and to get respect from everyone else'_

"Alright sure, now get dressed and make it snappy!"

**_~Class~_**

The kids where screaming and shouting, throwing paper airplanes, arguing, and even hitting eachother, since wanted to give them a five minute break before lunch. Puppy, had an idea pop in her mind and tapped Helga who was in front of her,

"What?" she turned around with a scowl,

"Tell Arnold I gotta talk to him, alright?" she said,

"wait why do you want me to-" she was cut off by Puppy,

"just DO IT!" she wispered loudly, Helga just sighed and shot arnold with a spit ball, he turned around with an angered face, Helga pointed to Puppy, who was behind her and said "She wants to talk to you,"

Arnold saw who she was pointing at, he never really introduced himself to her, but he just knew what they called her, and she knew his name.

"Yo Arnold, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at lunch with me and Helga, what do you say?" she asked,

"Nice grammer Poopy, dont you mean 'Helga and Me' yeesh" Helga rudely interrupted,

Arnold looked at Helga for a second, and back to Puppy,

"Well, sure then, I guess," he responded,

"alright thanks, I kinda just wanna know my surroundings better 'cause HELGA is bad at that," she looked at Helga with a smirk, one that you could tell that she was just joking around with her,

"ah, whatever," Helga said and turned around, and so did Arnold.

Puppy and Helga both pulled out their Journals and began writing in it, Helga's about Arnold, and Puppy's about Jason. Arnold looked back at them and noticed they both had love-sick faces on them, they both sighed at the same time and continued writing, Arnold interrupted their thoughts and said,

"What are you guys writing about, just curious,"

Their words collided as Helga said with a scowl "None of your beeswax footbal head" and Puppy said with more of a happier voice, "oh, just a boy back in California I have a huge crush on" she finished with a sigh.

"uh, okay" he finished off.

The bell rang loudly, notifying the students that they can go off to lunch. The stampede of kids were screaming, pushing, and yelling. They all eventually got out and were heading to lunch. Puppy, was looking for her not-really-related cousin, and her love god with the football head. SHe found them and as they where in the lunch line, there was only one carton of chocolate milk left, Helga took it, and placed it on her tray,

"aw man that was the last one, oh well" he groaned,

Puppy lightly shoved her elbo on Helga's arm and wispered in her ear, "You just gunna sit there or what?"

Helga looked at Arnold and said,

"O-oh, you r-really, uh, want this?"Helga said nervously, Puppy laughed because of how wrong it sounded, since she did have a dirty mind,

"Helga, I remember the last time you let me have the last of something" he said,

"n-no! Im not going to d-do that!" she said, She picked it up and slowley, with shaking hands, placed it on his trey, and nothing bad happened.

"well thanks Helga" he said, quite shocked that she didn't drop it on him.

They all found a table, and had a conversation about Evil Twin III, and how good It was going to be,

"Okay saps, I gotta go get some buisness done Ill be right back," Helga said with a scowl,

"Would you like me to go with you?" Arnold asked kindly,

"Listen, Arnoldo, I need privacy, got it!" she scowled, without letting him answer, she stomped off to the bathroom, When she was out of hearing range, Arnold turned to Puppy and asked,

"Is Helga truely like that? does she act nice to you at her house?"

"You kidding Anold? She's a friggin' SAINT at home, she's just got her bad days thats all!" Puppy was clearly lying, she didn't even KNOW if she had a nice side at all!

"Oh, really?" he asked, being verry suprised that he didn't know about her actually being that nice.

"yes really" she said, and she continued, "oh and we should also go see Evil Twin III, Its playing tomorow, on Friday! Wanna come with Helga and I? I can pay for all of it" she offered,

"Alright sure" he said, Helga came back and sat in her seat and continued eating,

"But I have to ask, How are you guys related if your look nothing alike?" Arnold asked,

"Oh, Helga's, Grandpa's, Dad, adopted a Hispanic boy,_explains why Im Mexican, _who never learned english, so he moved back to Mexico,met a girl, had my Grandpa, my Grandpa met my Grandma, they had my Mom, and as we all know, my Mom met my Dad, and had My oldest Brother, my two older sisters, and me, the youngest."

"Is that really how we are somewhat related?" Helga asked,

"Yep!"

_**~Helga's Room~**_

"you WHAT?!" Helga yelled, throwing a Pillow at her head, she continued,"YOUR A REAL LIFE IDIOT"

"But hear me out! Im going to pretend Im sick and It'll just be you two, If you need help, Ill be at the center, top row, last seat, okay?"

"AGH! but WHY did you set this up!"

"Because I want to help you! Your probably my favorite Girl cousin I have!" Puppy continued, "but get ready tomorow night at 9,"

**Well, Im to lazy to re-read so ignore the grammar/spelling errors, but anyway, I was wondering if anyone could draw me a cover for this on Deviant Art! I don't have an account but just send me a link to it, but you don't have to if you don't want to :3**


End file.
